Why do anything? Because to do nothing would be would be a waste of this life. But, do something that matters. Can you hear your Mother in your ear like I do (saying, “don’t just sit there, do something!”). She didn’t want me to be a lazy kid. I had lots of odd jobs when I was young (grass cutting, baby sitting, pin setting in a bowling alley, painting). Unlike some other kids my age in my neighborhood, I had some money that I earned in my pocket instead of getting an allowance. My Mother told me that I bought all my clothes from the time I was 13. I don’t remember this, but it now makes sense as to how I became self sufficient. My Mother taught me to take care of myself (financially and emotionally). She raised us by herself (no support from our Father). She knew she wouldn’t always be there, so she made sure we could be independent adults with a strong work ethic. It worked.

Looking back, I realize now that I may have taken this attitude a little too far in my early adulthood. I became a human-doing instead of a human-being. I didn’t know how to just “be”. That, I later found out was because I was uncomfortable with the free time and being by myself. Anxiety would creep up and I would get myself out and about (“don’t just sit there, do something!”). A few years later, my Mother read my beads by telling me “you don’t know how to be alone”. She was right and that made me nervous to think I didn’t know how to be alone. I was a serial monogamist by this point, hopping from relationship to relationship.

Eventually, I got to the point where I was so miserable and confused about how to “be” alone or with another person. That was the beginning of a new outlook for me. I needed to get to the end of this old way of doing things so that a new understanding could emerge. I finally realized that my value isn’t just about what I do but who I am. No more grasping to keep something or somebody “there”.  I was learning to let go of what isn’t supposed to be and open to what is.

It’s been several years since that revelation and I have taken this philosophy into my business and spiritual life as well. Now, when I “do something”, it is because it matters and not just to fill the time or just to please another person. I intend to do it because it will be beneficial in some way or to someone.